Do you ever feel like your screaming for help and yet no one hears you? Like you're trapped with yourself and the rest of the world is too busy to notice you're drowning? Once in while you may get someone to reach out and pull you up but only for a minute and then they disappear. Do you ever feel stuck in between two worlds that you don't belong in? Where do I fit in? I feel like there's no support system for my type. I am stuck.....
I have a great man in my life. He's kind and sweet, he loves me no matter what BUT he does not share in the Faith with me and therefore I have no support from him. I only have a few really close friends and they do nothing for my spiritual life. Then there's the "others" the ones who do follow God and His rules. If I reach out, I get a prayer or two and then I'm forgotten again. I cannot relate because the sin in my life has over taken everything and that puts me in this odd category. I WANT to follow God and His rules, but I'm not "like" the "others". They sacrifice their whole lives while I jut sit and pray waiting for that some day when it's my turn. How can it ever be my turn? I have prayed every single night for something, anything to help me be the person God wants me to be. Where are all the other Christians? Are you out there? Do you hear me? I have several people offer support to me and then it never happens. It's like they just forget. Is God trying to tell me something? Maybe it's because He wants me to rely on Him alone and no one else. But I so desperately need others to help me understand. My spiritual life has been in jeopardy for some time, and I don't know how to fix it!
I go to bed with a new prayer tonight: "God please teach me how to rely on You and no one else"
