It's all in the perception

Today God met my greatest needs in so many ways I never expected. You see, there's this cosmic gap that always lingers between what we seem to perceive as our needs and what God knows our actually needs really are. These where the words I had just spoken the night before, and little did I know just how big God would use my own words to show me just how much He really is invested in the finest details of my life. 

Last night, gathered around a dinner table full of beautiful women, sharing Gods goodness and wisdom from our hearts, I shared a word the spirit had spoken through me to another. It was a response to a question about being passive in waiting on God or being active in the waiting. I think both are imperative. I have this friend who was asking me how to move mountains. She told me that she needed a miracle and needed it now and how could she find faith to trust God in that? I told her that what we perceive as our needs are often times not what are actual needs are at all. God knows! He knows EXACTLY what we need. When we face circumstances requiring enormous amounts of faith, ask God for a change in your perception. When Chad and I were facing loosing our home I perceived our greatest need as a financial miracle to sustain us in our place, but God knew better and what we actually needed was to be homeless. Yes, you heard me right. We desperately needed to enter into a time of great desperation and hunger for God. So ask God first for a change in how you're perceiving the needs and then ask for a mighty work to be done in your heart, and then the mountains you need moved will be crushed! 

This morning I began to pray. I was praying for so many things. I was becoming anxious about relationships that I thought I had hurt, my children's behavior that I didn't have patients for this morning, my faith that felt weak, a friend who desperately needed to see her use by God, and so much more. I was praying for specific things to happen that I perceived as the answers to these prayers. I spent all morning praying and becoming more anxious and weary. Then, I got a call. My husbands voice was cracking over the phone in agony. He had injured his back pretty seriously. In attempted to lift a desk at work he had thrown his back out and was unable to move. He couldn't bear weight on his legs at all. When I saw him, he was panting and sweating, he couldn't stand and was in so much pain I thought he was going to pass out. We rushed to the emergency room. I was very frustrated. See, this was the fifth time we had been at the ER in the last month. It was just a series of unusual random events that had puts us there over the course of a month. This was the second time for Chads back. I sat back and watched my sweet husband try to smile through his pain, all the while I was trying to muster up the strength to just find a little joy. I decided to post on social media. We needed support. I immediately started getting feedback. First, the friend I had prayed for texted me. You know what she told me? To change my perception!! She used my own words and brought to my attention how I was away from the children and yes, that helped. I had just prayed for a break. I needed some time from them. Even if that meant time in the ER, I needed it. I wasn't being patient this morning and that's not fair to them and I needed room to breath. She reminded me of God knowing my needs better than I know my needs and she was so right. I was then able to point out to her how God had JUST used her to speak to me! Perfect! Through out the time we spent at the hospital I was connecting to so many people. I really needed to know how many people we have behind us, supporting us. Especially the friends I had perceived as having tension in our relationship. I had just prayed for that! The best blessing of all came last. The faith building. A sweet friend, that has been the biggest encourager in my life, texted me to point out that I should recognize this as an attack. I should be fighting and declaring truth and healing over Chad. I knew this, but lacked some motivation in my bad attitude that morning. Her gentle push gave me the strength to pull out my bible and start fighting. I started declaring Psalm 91 out loud over and over. Then I declared healing and truths over him. Friends, remember his condition coming into the emergency room? He WALKED unassisted out of that hospital!! Glory to God forever and ever!!  He's still sore but no one that saw him coming in can deny what they saw when he walked out!! So many blessings and so many needs were met today from my prayers this morning. My own words, God used them to show how much he is in the details. He is good and I can always trust that He knows what I need and will fulfill those needs. When I doubt, and I'm anxious, I just need a shift in my perception. Trust. God knows your needs and he is FAITHFUL to fill them. 

Character traits and Godly training.

I think I'm a fairly observant person...... No, I'm an extremely observant person. I seem to notice things some times that I think others don't see. I seem to have perspectives that are unique and enable me to have an innate sense of perceptiveness. 

I am also a deeply emotion person. I'm very sensitive to my own feelings as well as others. This fragile state is part of who I am. 

Sensitivity toward others is a good thing. God tells us we should be sensitive. 

Romans 12:16

Be sensitive to each other's needs - don't think yourselves better than others, but make humble people your friends. Don't be conceited.

God also tells us we should be perceptive, but from an eternal view point. 

Colossians  3:2

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

If you pair sensitivity with perspective, you can have a very powerful effect on other people and the influences you have on their lives.

However, as with any trait or characteristic, they can go very wrong when not trained to be handled properly. 

Being super sensitive also means that I tend to overthink EVERYTHING. Pain is felt just as deeply as joy. Other people's responses to me can have profoundly devastating effects when I'm not keeping a leash on my emotions. I feel vulnerable almost all of the time. This has caused me to become, or attempt to, numb myself. The problem with numbing yourself is that you never actually become less sensitive. In fact, your heart will ache and break more often when you ignore or stuff the feelings. You just end up corrupting your perspective and everyone seems to be an enemy. Suddenly, the people you thought cared about you appear to have abandoned you. Listen to me, if you feel like no one is interested in you, or they just don't care about you in the same way you care for them, you are more than likely dead wrong. What you have to realize is that every person has different traits and characteristics that God strategically gives them to live out their callings and ultimately to glorify Him. If we were all overly sensitive and widely perceptive, there would be a whole lot more misconception, hasty reactions, and corrupt relationships. We need different traits to balance our relationships and bring uniqueness to the table. 

My husband is my polar opposite. He's often unaware of my feelings. I, however, can sense when he's upset within seconds of him entering a room. I've learned that if I'm feeling lonely or sad I have to verbally explain the depth of my feelings when I want comfort from him. And that's OKAY. It doesn't mean he's being apathetic, or indifferent, he just possesses different traits than I do. 

Now, here's what you need to watch out for; Satan is a liar and you better believe he's going to do everything he can to defile your sensitivity and perspective. He will use these traits as fierce weapons that will leave you aching breathlessly on the sidelines. I know, I've been there. It almost feels euphoric, like walking through a crowded room sobbing but no one sees or hears you. It's a dark dejected place to be.

Now I'm not suggesting you start battening the hatches and push everyone out of your life. For years I have put up walls and barriers in attempt to protect my feelings. This is true for anyone who has been deeply hurt. This response, though, many times unintentional, sets us up for greater hurt and disappointment. We assume that in keeping ourselves closed up, the pain will be less. What happens is when we do end up in a painful situation, we become vastly more devastated because we've already created stipulations on how much pain we should feel. When the pain exceeds those boundaries, we are absolutely crushed. 

So, here's what you can do to keep those traits working for you, not against you. 

1. Don't make assumptions. Don't assume that everyone should just know how you are feeling. Only you and God truly know the depth of what you are feeling. 

2. Be realistic. Don't let your mind run rampant. Always bring everything back to God's word. Check for accuracy. Abandon anything that doesn't line up and move forward with the truths. 

3. Kill the expectations. Putting expectations on people or situations will only leave you frustrated and hurt. Never expect situations to have a certain outcome. Just act in whatever way you feel lead and trust God to do the work. 

4. Check your emotions. Always ask yourself if what you are feeling correlates with God's truths. Ask God to reveal any deception in your emotions. 

5. Use your gift! You have a beautiful gift. You have the ability to sense when someone needs an encouraging word. You are able to perceive problems before they arise. God gave you sensitivity and perceptiveness to be used for Him. So Glorify Him and use what He's given you.  

6.Train yourself. 1 Timothy talks about training yourself to be Godly. How do we learn a new job or strengthen muscles? From training. So keep yourself close to God in prayer and fellowship. Read the word every day. Ask God to give you more opportunities to use your gifts, and trust that He will help you to become stronger and more efficient. 

7. Give yourself permission to fail. No one has ever became good at something without failing. Failing is a beautiful thing! It's the birth place of tireless endurance. Our failures soften the hardest parts of our heart. Failure takes us to a place of humility and allows room for the spirit to work within us. 

Weather you're sensitive, perceptive, or you possess different traits, these steps are pretty universal. I think you will find them usefully regardless of what your strengths and weaknesses are. And I'm sure that I will need to come back to this and reread it for myself. 

I want the end with these thoughts:

1 Timothy 4 states that physical training has some value but godliness has value for ALL things holding promise for both the present life and life to come. 

So much depth in that one statement. 

He goes on to say USE YOUR GIFT! Watch your character, teach others by your life, and be immersed in the word. 

Live by these and those around you will be brought to freedom!! That's great news, friends! That's what we're here for. Love God and love His people. Glory and honor to Him forever!