Winter already?

I feel like we are in early December the way the weather has been going. It's so cold out! I hear some places are even getting snow! I usually really enjoy this time of year, the leaves, the smells, the holidays coming up... I must say, I have not been in a very good mood. The colder weather and time of year has brought back some very painful memories from a year ago and I can't seem to shake them. I do think I'm feeling a lot better than I expected.

After last years events I started reading articles and testimony's of other wives who have gone through the same thing. One thing they all say and are absolutely right about is that surviving an affair is worse than having your husband die. I couldn't agree more, I always said, while he was gone, that it would have been easier if he had died. Dealing with the affair was so extremely hear wrenching and it didn't help to be 2 months prego either.

One thing that catch my attention when reading these articles is that almost all the women whose marriages survived say it took around 2 years for everything to go back to normal and for her to trust her husband again. Not so in my case, although I have God to help and I'm not sure any of these women did. When Chad came home I was so over joyed. It was like falling in love again! I immediately glued myself to him and didn't feel the least bit angry at him! An amazing feet which only comes with God's grace! We are still doing really well in our marriage but it's been really hard for me these last couple weeks. For now I'm just going to stick close to God and not let myself lose sight of Him again!

Blessings ...............

September update!

Hello everyone! Welcome Fall! I love summer and being outdoors so I'm sad to see it go. The change of seasons always brings some change of mood in a good way though. Although the feeling is temporary I'm enjoying it for now. I have so many goals I've started to make as I feel the need to change somethings in my life. First is my relationship with God. It's been no where near where I'd like it to be so I plan on trying to get "involved". I have been reading God's word a lot more than ever lately but making it to church on Sundays has become a challenge. not just to get everyone ready on time but EVERYONE in the family except myself moans and groans when I say "We're going to Church tomorrow". What a downer that is. Satan has some strong holds on this family and I intend to use the power God has given me to change that.
Last year about this time my husband and I were having some very serious problems, I'm so happy to report that our marriage has been getting stronger and better everyday. We struggle right now with the economy's downfall which has placed huge financial crisis in our home. I do believe God is teaching us something and I wish I could just figure it out and be out of this mess! I am waiting and trusting in Him, please pray for us to see the way.
My second Goal is/was weight loss. HA! I just can't bring myself to do anything that takes will power at all. Seriously I'm awful at it.
As for the kids and everything else, well we are loving our new home in Morton! Very nice town! Mariah is doing very well at her new school. Joshua just started preschool and he loves going but hates the long 50 min bus ride to and from. Can't say I blame him. Sierra is a little ball of energy. I have to follow her around getting her out of everything! Kaylee is sweet as ever. She's smiling and cooing, so sweet and I can't help but feel sad that she's my last. :( J.C. is back into the cheerleading and loves to read the twilight books. She got me into them as well.
That's it for this time. Hopefully I can't update more often now that the kids are in school and I have a bit of free time. God bless.

Not enough time!

Well as you can see I have not blogged in a while. I'm surprised I have found time at all to be on the computer actually. Most days I'm lucky if I can get on long enough to check my email and facebook. June was absolutely the busiest month have had in my life! Chad and I had to find a place to move to and then pack up everything, then we had a baby and then we moved when she was just two weeks old! Since the move my life has revolved around poopy diapers, feedings, taking Mariah to tutoring every few days, cooking, cleaning, unpacking, caring for 5 children, and I feel like I'm in survival mode. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mommy and wifey. I do enjoy caring for everyone but that leaves little time for myself at this point.

For the up-coming months we will be:
- Sending Mariah to a new school so she knows absolutely no one but for now she's not worried.
- Joshua will start preschool!! (Thank you Lord) My patients with him has worn thin over the years and if you know Joshua you know that's an understatement.
- Chad will be looking for a new job as his company's future is looking darker by the day.
- J.C. will be very active in Cheerleading and volley ball this year.
- Me and the two little girls will spend time at home. Hopefully I will be giving them as much attention as I can so that when Joshua and Mariah get home from school I'll be able to turn my attention to their needs.

It's really hard to give each child the attention they so badly want, but I'm learning to balance my attention between them. Pray the God teaches me to be a better mother everyday.

Kaylee Ann

Kaylee Ann

June 12, 2009

@ 2:22pm

7lbs 6oz

19 1/2"

Kaylee is such a joy to have! I love it when they are so small and precious. She sleeps through the night already, not even two weeks old yet. Yesterday she looked up at me and gave me the biggest smile! (She smiled at me again this morning) She has a very mellow personality. She doesn't cry to much even when she's hungry she lets out little whimpers to let me know. She sleeps most of the day but I can't go to far...... if I lay her down it's not very long before she realizes and wakes up to tell me she wants to be held. She likes to stay close to mommy and sleeps peacefully as long as she's near me. We love having her to complete our family!

Saturday Tea Party!

This was a lot of fun! My mom had us girls over for a tea party this afternoon and the girls both loved it! She had her dinning room table set up beautifully and a good variety of finger foods for us. My dad and my brother both played waiter. They seated us, served us, and tended to our little afternoon gathering. Mariah was soaking up every second! She was trying talk very proper and act like such a little lady. I think she was lost in her own little paradise. It was very sweet. J.C. told me, "I've never been to a real tea party before." She loved it too. I think the tea party was a great success and my mother did an awesome job of planning and decorating everything. We should start a tradition of an annual mother-daughter tea party every mother's day! Cheers!

In the garden.....

Yesterday we spent a good portion of the day at Grandma and Papa's house helping in the garden. Well really I wasn't much help but I did take some pictures. Joshua loves helping put soil around the plants and digging holes for Grandpa. J.C. and Mariah used to help a lot too, but now that they are in their preteen years and in school all day the job has been passed to the younger ones. Here's some of what we did.

Is it a car or a cat?

I was video tapping Sierra and Josh playing cars. Even though it sounds like Sierra is saying meow, that's her making car noises, LOL.

Evicted!

Two days ago my landlord presented us with a notice of eviction. This couldn't come at a worse time. I'm expecting the baby any time from early to late June (my actual due date is June 18th) and our notice states we need to be out by June 30th. This will be particularly tough considering Chad is still only working 24 hours a week and there's no sign of his company getting back on their feet any time soon. He has applied for some part time and full time work, but hasn't gotten even so much as a phone call from any of those places. It's been rough but God has always provided. I have no clue what we will do, we do not have a plan. I don't feel depressed about this at the moment and maybe that's because I've been expecting it. I knew with this baby on the way the landlords would not hold out much longer and it's been a huge pain to be worried every time they call or come by. I'm glad I don't have the stress of worrying about it any more. I am trusting God and I know He has a plan for us so where ever we may end up, it will be good.

32 weeks Prego, and a possible heart condition

I can't believe I still have 7 weeks to go when I already can't get off the couch without rolling myself. Hahaha. In two more days I will have made it to 33 weeks which is such a blessing considering at 27 weeks I was put on full bed rest with a thinning and dialating cervix. Since then I've been laying around and packing on the pounds. At my last appointment I had already gained 27 pounds! That's a lot considering I only gained 23 total with Joshua and 27 total with Sierra (Mariah doesn't count because I gain 63 whopping pounds! She is the reason for every stretch mark on my body haha). Really though, weight is the least of my concerns this time around.

I have had a handful of concerns and issue during this pregnancy. The first issue was whether I should or should not have a cercloge put in place. Luckily I chose to go without and have been doing really well.

Then there was our scare of early labour. At 27 weeks I went in for my weekly sono and while measuring my cervix they informed me that in 1 week my cervix had gone from closed and strong to half the length it was and open 1 centimeter. I was immediately sent to the hospital and hooked up to the monitors. The hospital was flooded with labour patients that day and as a result I was put into triage room. These rooms are full of beds separated by nothing more than curtains. As I was laying in bed trying to think positive, my thoughts kept being interrupted with the sounds of a soon to be new mother on the other side of the curtain. She was in obvious discomfort with no one to support her. Every two mins or so she'd have a grooling contraction and the painful sounds of labour became the reality I could be facing. After only about 1 hour my OB came to check things out. He said I looked good but I would most likely be staying over night for observation. Thankfully, about a week ago I had a fetal fibronecton test done which is extremely accurate in predicting preterm labour for up to 4 weeks. Since mine was negative then the doctors where not so concerned about the possibility of labour. I was discharged with strict instruction to do nothing.

Next was my gestational diabetes test, which came back as high so I had to go back for a three hour glucose test. It was horrible, but I passed so no diabetes!

Kaylee's heart....

The most serious concern came about 3 weeks ago when a sonogram showed a possible heart anomalie. During a routine exam of the baby organs, it was noticed that our daughter has a very large hole between the chambers in her heart. All baby's have a hole in this area that will close up at birth. The concern for our daughter is that this hole is much larger than it should be for her gestation and may not completely close at birth. An ecocardiagram will be preformed shortly after she is born. The fetal specialists tell me that this is something they will not be able to confirm until after she is born. Being born with a small hole in your heart is not extremely uncommon. Many babies born with this defect have no problems and do not need any surgery to fix it. There is a small percentage that do. I just pray that she is born healthy and I know God has her in His hands. We are not even for sure that she will have a heart defect, but we are still scared. It is in God's hands now and I am trusting Him.

Spring Concert

Mariah participated in her school's spring concert tonight. She has been working hard to learn how to play her recorder. I have added a video but it's a little shaky. I was up in the bleachers so I had to zoom which makes the camera harder to hold still. Plus the lady in front of me had BIG hair.... I had to keep holding the camera off to the side or up high over her hair which incidentally made my back and arms hurt. Bleachers where not made for pregos. I should have sat in the chairs.

Today is a beautiful day

Well here I am at 31 weeks and it couldn't be a more beautiful day. Sunny and a little cold but that's OK because warmer weather is on the way.

Organization:

Lately I think I've been "nesting". I've been doing so much cleaning and organizing. Decluttering has been my main goal as with 4 children in a two bed room apartment makes for a lot of clutter. After the baby comes I fear I won't have any time for decluttering, let alone, cleaning. This will make #5 and although JC is not always here she will be here for week long visits during the summer. In reality this baby could come as early as 6 weeks from now! Wow! I'm hoping she holds off until at least June. I think June is a great month for a birthday and I would really like to get a little swimming in before she gets here.

Baby Name:

For anyone who doesn't know we have decided to name her Kaylee. We do not have a middle name and who knows when we will. It took long enough to agree on Kaylee. See Chad likes to think all my suggestions are stupid, but if I has let him name our other three children we'd have:
Mariah = Randy
Joshua = Walter (no offense grandpa, You know I love you it's just Walter is not a name of the new millennium)
Sierra = Cheyenne

So you see it's good I've picked out or carefully suggested them to him. I had to make him think that he came up with these names to get a yes out of him. LOL shhhh! Don't tell him or Kaylee will be in the trash.